Time. It’s one thing to experience it, another to relate it to a reader.

It takes careful work to manage the flow of time in a fiction story. When do you describe a character brushing their teeth? Or waking up in the morning? When do you detail a conversation and when do you skim over it with a sentence or two of narration? Don’t make the mistake of thinking this is a minor issue. Your choices here can doom your book before it’s even published!

One of the best ways I can show you how important it is to cut the excess from your stories is by giving examples from none other than the Harry Potter series. In the books, Rowling trimmed enough fluff and managed time in such a way that we get enough information but don’t get bored with it.

But what exactly does it mean to trim the excess, and how do you do it? How do you even recognise it? Let’s find out!

The Art of Being Concise

“Concise storytelling” simply means telling the reader exactly what’s necessary and nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you automatically exclude purely humorous or mundane moments. As long as it adds something valuable to the story, it’s allowed!

Notice how J. K. Rowling employs conciseness with her character descriptions. She doesn’t go on with lengthy explanations that bog down the narrative; instead, she uses concise descriptions that give you a clear picture and leave the rest up to your imagination.

Take Severus Snape, for example. In The Sorcerer’s Stone, Snape is described as having “greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin.’’ This tells you a lot about Snape in a few short words but also allows you to further connect with the story by engaging your imagination to fill in the blanks.

Using short but precise and poignant descriptions like these helps keeps readers engaged and allows you to focus more on other important story elements like character dialogue and worldbuilding.

Seamless Time Skips

To skip, or not to skip? I’ve seen authors get it wrong on both accounts.

For the Harry Potter books to stay interesting, J. K. Rowling had to employ time skips tactfully. Each book takes place over almost an entire year, which means there just isn’t time to detail what happens every single day—and that would be a pretty boring book if it did, anyway.

A great example of this is in the fourth book, The Goblet of Fire. The book focuses on the events of the Triwizard Tournament, but there are only three main events spread throughout the year. Rowling had to decide where best to use time skips so that the focus of the book remained clear, readers stayed engaged, and the sequence of events remained straightforward. You’ll notice that once the tournament begins, most of the scenes take place right before, during, and after the tournament’s tasks.

Use too many time skips or put them in the wrong place, and your story becomes confusing. Use too little, and your story might get too lengthy or bogged down. Focus on the core points of your story, but make sure there’s enough content to strengthen the in-between, too.

Show, Don’t Tell

What descriptions can you omit because it’s better to use just a word or two instead? What dialogue can you cut because the exposition is handed straight to the reader?

Show don’t tell is a great guideline when trying to figure out what to cut in a story. Take a part from The Prisoner of Azkaban for example. One important part of this book that impacts the series is Harry finding the Marauder’s Map and learning that his father was one of its creators. Instead of Harry finding out everything about the map at once, Rowling reveals each part of the puzzle slowly through action, not straight narration. She could have devoted a whole long paragraph to describing the map, who made it, what it did, where it came from, etc., but instead, she trimmed the fluff and gave us this progression in the book:

• Step 1: Dialogue. Harry overhears two characters, Fred and George Weasley, discussing the Marauder’s Map and mentioning that they stole it from Filch’s office. This piques Harry’s curiosity.
• Step 2: Action. Harry gets into Filch’s office and finds the map. The fact that he has to take action to get the map shows us just how important it is.
• Step 3: Revelation. When Harry uses the map, he sees the names “Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs” as the creators. This cryptic revelation eventually connects back to his father and other important characters in the series.

This clever way of revealing information has many functions. It makes the story concise, engages the reader by having them discover things alongside the characters, and enhances character development.

So, instead of telling information, try to figure out how you can trim it up and show it instead.

Conciseness Is Key!

Now, it’s time for you to trim the fluff! Just remember: be concise, use time skips wisely, and show rather than tell when possible. Believe it or not, conciseness can be the difference between a novel that sells and one that doesn’t.

So “show” that story, tighten up your sentences, and get rid of that fluff! If you’re not quite sure where the fluff is, don’t worry—that’s exactly what I’m trained to spot! I can tell you exactly what fluff needs to be cut; my book critique services start at just $10 for flash fiction or a book chapter.

Happy writing!
—E.J.

---

If you enjoyed this post, I hope you’ll consider buying one of my books, donating to the blog, reading my stories on Vocal, and/or taking a look at my RedBubble shop so I can continue to produce 100% free content!

Photo by Alex Guillaume on Unsplash